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dora, chickaaaa, still in school :(
You don’t even know the page they’re on
What book are we reading ?!
WHAT FUCKING CLASS IS THIS?!
ABORT MISSION, I REPEAT. ABORT MISSION.
NO HABLA INGLÉS.
LMFAO I LAUGHED TOO MUCH TO NOT REBLOG.
do i have cramps or has my appendix exploded
does my boob hurt or am i having a heart attack
am i on my period or do i have internal bleeding
these are our struggles
(via get-electric)

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, an officer was interrupted by a little boy about six years old. Looking up and down at his uniform, he asked, “Are you a cop?”
“Yes,” he replied and continued writing the report.
“My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right,” he told him.
“Well, then,” he said as he extended his foot towards the officer, “would you please tie my shoe?”
(Source: caput-meum-laedit, via get-electric)
As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.
And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”
Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.
Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows.
(via get-electric)